Colorful World

It is so unfair that when you finally met someone you truly want to fall in love with and who is more than willing to catch you, they then needs to leave.


It is so not fair.


People say, maybe he is not the one. Maybe you will see him again. Maybe this is a test of your feelings. If so, one thing strikes, does he feel the same way. Only way for any of this is true if we both feel the same way. Otherwise, its suicide.

Why colorful world?

Cause it is my first great love (cheers!). i see and feel things around me in a more colorful way. I realize now how my people cant eat after a break up or why they need to be rushed to the hospital after taking pills and drinking past their limit... its not that i approve or am saying that it is normal but, i now understand why people go through that.

is that his purpose in my life? for me to feel love in the right amount, to make me dream and not bitter?

--
Justine Castillo is a Filipina currently living in her home country. She uses this blog to punish herself by revisiting and rethinking her past experiences. Still she continues to blog because she believes that her words someday will be worth Millions. Also, she is a self-confessed megalomaniac.

belgian waffles...

it is amazing how thoughts on relationship, love and loneliness can bring two people together from different sides of the planet. I dont usually meet men who likes to talk unless they are lonely and fishing for complements.

...or maybe he is just a mythical being who is really romantic. then again, it is so easy to be with someone who just had his heart broken, you just need to be everything his girlfriend was not (bitch!).

Loneliness

loneliness looms over you like an addiction
you try hard to get over it but emotions can run wild
emotions that controls you
you look around and see people
people you dont understand, people you dont want to talk to you
yet they see you, talk to you

loneliness eats you up until you are none

Things I Want to Do this Semestral Break

1. Go to tagaytay, alone. Eat Breakfast at McDonalds, have morning tea at Starbucks, Read a Book and Take Pictures. - Cost P700 (how much will the taxi cost? and can i take a taxi to and from tagaytay?)
2. Finish 3 Books
3. Write a Short Story
4. Live Alone, maybe rent a room for a night. Cost (P1500)
5. learn to drive a stick shift


...
so far that is it. hahaha... oh! wait, i only have four (4) weeks to do this and work on my thesis. KAYA! time management. :)

Why Women Go Needy?

could it be because...

1. At the end of the day, they just want to be taken care of no matter how strong they portray themselves to be. I think this goes the same for men but women, express this need more. Also, i think because women is relational and social beings, they need and want presence (not pertaining or limited to physical presence).

2. Women has a lot to be insecure about. OK fine. So does Men. Insecurities spells out the need for more compliments and assurance from people she is trying to get attention from.

3. She is looking for more. More than what the other person can give or want to give. Satisfaction is never an easy thing to establish. Striking a balance between reality and dreams has to be achieved. There are few moments in life where the two intersect. So, keep trying because those moments are worth it.

...
of course, these are based on personal experiences... haha. :D

personal lessons on dating...

*if you want maturity, the older the better*
not true. Older men can still have emotional scars that they choose not to recognize. Psych will tell you that they will most likely regress to an earlier and more comfortable stage and hence will act a lot less mature.

im not sure its maturity im describing. lets just say, they will act like a jackass. they might just talk to you about the good old days, their sexual escapades (not that it will all be true) or say that they are better than younger men.

*men and boys likes to play and hunt*
true. it is not good for us to not give hints or not to flirt a little. BUT you gotta make them WANT you. as in crave. DONT lose your power over them, they like it. this does not mean that you should control them because holding back is NOT EASY. BUT best thing i learned is to keep them HUNTING.

*controlling sexual urges is easy*
NOT TRUE. it depends on your "voltage", how much do you want it. some women dont want it as much as others or can control it more than others. Controlling urges is a full time job, it can consume you especially at the beginning of your "exploration".

just wanted to share

...after 3 semesters what have i learned?

i have one answer.

What it means to question.

Not to question every idea or practices and assume that they are all wrong but to see what is right about them. No matter how much i tell myself that i am an explorer, a traveler, i never went out of my comfort zone. My dream of being a development worker or to be a politician or lawyer were dreams i had since i was a little girl. I am starting to question all of them but it doesnt mean they are all wrong for me. I had trouble writing the last journal precisely because i went through life following rules and doing what people tells me i should do. I am a people pleaser. never question, just follow. i get a kick from doing so but i never really experience.

Kavanaugh (?), Heidegger, Berdyaev and Abe seems more colorful for me now. Dwelling with reality doesnt mean letting things happen. Being is not about Bohemia. Letting things happen means not letting them fall to where they are. Not to recover life but to reinvent it. to try new things and again, to question life itself.

so, if everything you taught us was a fake. i think ill be all right.

---

one more thought,

Last sem (2nd sem, 06-07) we were talking about politics and the last question haunts me. i forgot exactly what it was as you sir probably do remember. i think it was: What makes politicians have the will to decide for everyone?

i answered then i dont know. (got confused actually) but i think i know now. They can decide for everyone because they know they don't know everything and can possibly know everything and hence makes room for amendments. Also, that at the end of the day nobody can really know about tomorrow. There job is not to stop evil but to mitigate it. Rules after all cannot stop evil, it comes after it (berdyaev) or sin. Some people choose to teach ethics, some people try to make social change happen. At the end of the day, we are all just trying and inventing life. We all are egoself trying to find our trueself. power has many levels. Brings into question, do we have the right to make change? can i answer, if we are all fully human (th131. hahaha)


*am i closer to an "A"?, im not looking for a higher grade or consideration, im just sharing.*

What have you created lately?

For some time now, in my philosophy of ethics class, we are talking about creativity and its importance in creating ethics and virtues. We all know (if you dont, too bad. :P) that most things or seemingly inherent characteristics in life and in the world are constructed. Like culture, it is more of a social construct than an inherent manifestation of groups of people with the same skin color and or heritage. Anthropologists will say that it is more of geographical location than anything else. Politicians and sociologists will argue that it is something elites or influential people decisively or unconsciously do to uphold or destroy a certain norm. Being familial and hospitable of Filipinos is one example of this. Once when life was about territory, super beings (as in "Malakas" at "Maganda"), deity and battles, bayanihan was something needed for without much protection from the elements, Humans need to flock in order to survive. I believe, even without research (ha!) this was true in all places. Nomads, i think what we call them. However, after industrialization, states, social contracts or in other words change happen, all of the people in the world had a strong sense of bayanihan. Then why is it that we filipinos take pride on making it our own? Yes, truth maybe is that we exude the bayanihan spirit more than other groups of people.

really, Why?

I believe it is because even with change, we are all still threatened. Nearly being introduced to world trade and capitalism, the Spaniards conquered us. there was massive terror and social groups created that called for bayanihan spirit. the KKK (something, something something. :D) is an example of that, a group of people, now recognized as non-peasant group was a call for bayanihan. I dont want to go into full details, but then we had Americans and Japanese to delineate distinctions which then created more "in and out" groups. Of course then there was the dictatorship. Bayanihan was promoted, enforced and highly encouraged by groups of people, it was created because it was, in their opinion, needed.

So what am i saying?... what am i saying?!

Creation is a big part of humans. We are after all co-creators. In ethics, berdyaev will reinterate that it is through creativity or creativeness do one transform life. That from the problems of pharisiastic law to [real] ethics or good.

In a family, certain values are built because it was decided upon intentionally or not. Take for example in my family, my dad wanted super people. :) athletes but smart children. He wanted the world to know that we are special and he brags about us often. This was his decision and manifested into afternoons and nights of training, dinner discussions in english, drinking raw eggs and devouring huge pieces of red meat to build my body up. It wasnt horrible, but most probably different from how you grew up which was the decision of your parents. You became you because of them. Not only but mostly.

Think about this then. What have you created lately?

a bunch of atheist
a group who found pleasure in showing their sexuality
a depressed child
goodness?

on excellence...

Good Day everyone!

I am sure that there's very few people who reads my blog. I am also amazed with people who constantly read blogs for the sake of reading and catching up on their friends' or people's lives. I still believe in the old fashion way of meeting personally with them, having coffee or spending time together at home and talking about what has been going on. However, despite my negative thoughts on blogging and my preference to actually talking, i blog because its the best way for an egotistic, competitive and scatterbrain like me get her thought in writing.

I have been working as an intern for one of the most, in my opinion, respected Senator in my country to date. He may very well be remembered for a very long time. Like many graduating college student, i had many dreams and ideals about being an intern and believe in what i can offer. However, this internship has opened my eyes again to skills and talents i have to hone before i graduate, apply and work for a cause.

I am constanly reminded that as a development worker (scientist :)), i do not just need a passion for service and "sustainability" but i also need intellect and leadership. This i believe i had entering college, but after seeing many people better than me, i slowed down. neigh, i stopped growing.

I got comfortable with being an assistant, second in command, doing what she is told to do and never really deciding on any important matter. I guess, all failures and mistakes i made, coursed my to staying inside my comfort zone. Gladly, a comment from someone waked me up from my sweet slumber. A comment from someone who i believe does not have the right to say so. I got mad, fought and won. However, the war is not yet over.

I have to prove to myself that I, can do it. part 1.

Practicum Experience

MY OJT for Sen. Pangilinan.

100 hours down. :)

Nothing to do?!

PASSION

is passion created or inherent?

i took History of Southeast Asia and one of the main thesis that we looked at is how a country's National Identity is created as oppose to how it is portrayed as inherent. Inherent in the sense that as if the country's "identity" existed since time immemorial.

so now that i am froth with procrastination, since it is supposed to be my summer vacation... i am trying to figure out if "passion" is inherent or created. if it is inherent, we should look for it. if it is not there then it does not exist and will never exist. if it is created, we can make ourselves feel it... maybe not now, but in time...

so is it created?

the definition of passion in the encarta dictionary is...

pas·sion

pas·sion [pásh’n]
n (plural pas·sions)
1. intense emotion: intense or overpowering emotion such as love, joy, hatred, or anger
Try and play it with a little more passion.

2. strong sexual desire: strong sexual desire and excitement

3. outburst of emotion: a sudden outburst of an emotion such as rage, hatred, or jealousy
He flew into a passion.

4. intense enthusiasm for something: a keen interest in a particular subject or activity
a passion for music

5. object of enthusiasm: the object of somebody’s intense interest or enthusiasm
Orchids are my passion.

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

for the purposes of this discussion, im talking about the definition that is highlighted...

lets say passion for music.

a lot of people whether they can sing, play an instrument or not expresses their passion for music by creating music of spending ridiculous amount of time listening to music. these people, did they like music just like that or their experiences and their effort in finding the right type of music inspired their passion?

there is a girl i know who loves music because music gave her the strength to move on from past hurts. i on the other hand is thankful for movies and tv shows that showed me hope and just released inescapable truths that is bottling inside of me. so in that regard, i can say i am passionate more about movies than i am with music. but if i had a radio than a tv at my room, things maybe different right? since it is because i have my own tv at my room that allowed me to spend ridiculous amount of time watching tv...

same goes for those people who does not have cable tv, they get to appreciate local shows. or those who dont have a tv, they get to do nothing but study and get better at school.

hmm...

so is it inherent?

if i just spend more time on my computer doing my work as oppose to lying on my bed, waiting for inspiration or passion for what i need to do.. would it work the same way?

thats my real dilemma... i need to do stuff, i dont really want to do... as of this moment.

funny...

according to my profile views, MIKE DEFENSOR just viewed my profile...

i wonder, how come he didnt add me to his list of friends??!! though, i dont know if he does that... but one thing for sure.

i am not adding him to mine. :D

thoughts on campaigns and elections

competition and campaign is good for an organization or the country.
*competition destroys inefficiency because there is pressure to perform and be better. it should be taken into advisement but also, at the end of the day, you still call the shots. no matter how many people protest, if elected and placed in position legitimately, you have the right to assert power.
*creating promises and platform shows what they want to do and help us see what they're view of development is but i think it also helps the one running formulate what s/he believes in.s/he will try to answer, why do we have this problem?

though a good campaign can help you win, it is not a measure of how well a person performs.
*unfortunately a good campaign strategy can be bought. it doesnt mean that when a person has a good or bad campaign strategy that he is good/bad politician or officer. it just means, s/he can sell herself well. moreover, s/he has a good staff.
*in the campaigns today, you see laws they pass and want to pass. but are laws enough?

winning is a good thing, but it is only 5% of the whole package.
*dear, you have to prove to everyone and to yourself that you deserve to win. see, the negative thing about campaigning is making promises and winning means you have to make it work. celebrate all you want, but i know you know, the job is so far from over.
*5% is a conservative estimate. haha. actually, i just made that up.

you tube, friendster, multiply, myspace and podcasts...
*make use of what is free. i think politicians who creates profile on web spaces are fashion forward. it also means that they want to keep up with the times. however, does this means that their vision of the philippines is also technological advancement and that their engagement with computers finally means an advancement though education or computer educ for that matter? or is it all propaganda?
*free web posting should cut campaign costs. however, this might also mean more money to buy votes. haha.

on technology...

We, women are selling ourselves short. We have started to oppress other women. Women no longer need men to feel inferior, insecure and violated. We call each other hoes and bitches freely without realizing that this gives men more reason to look at us and call us hoes ad bitches; an object for their own satisfaction. Worst, our biology works against us. If we are unmarried or have no prospect by the time we are 30, we succumb to the mercy of unmarried men because we feel the pressure to get hitched, have a family before the whole cycle ends. We add problems to our already distressed life because we see our life culminates with the birth and growth of a child. We tell ourselves that then and only then can we experience the “essence” of being a “woman”, as one Miss Universe contestant puts it.

All of which are social constructs, created by men and sustained by women. Married or attached women have the tendency to look down at their single friends. Either because they want us to experience the “joy” that they are experiencing or they are being judgmental and conclude that the reason why we are still single is because we are being picky and unreasonable. Yes, some women are picky and unreasonable. However, the point is, why even go there? What compels these women to feel the need to pity their single friends? As Heidegger puts it, “Meanwhile man, precisely as the one so threatened, exalts himself to the posture of lord of the earth”. There is this need not only for man but also for women to solidify themselves and their reality by exerting it over another woman. Could the married woman be living a life of quiet desperation? That her idea of “happily ever after”, perished or never existed? For one brief moment, while she looks down on another woman she feels happy, but the reality is, she is looking at herself, at her own lifeless reality. We have fashioned ourselves to safebeing, faking ourselves towards living. We defend our reality by pretending to be someone else. We buy the clothes we need, we hope and dream for our knight-in-shinning-armor to appear and seize us away from our life of quiet desperation. In turn, we end up not facing our own reality. Our fear of abandonment has carried us to its core, we have abandoned ourselves.

We are living in quiet desperation on our own for too long, forgetting to see that it is not only us that suffer. Even those women who seem to be perfect and together is suffering, for the standards imposed on us is unreal. As we women perfect the art of hiding imperfection, we have lost our true-selves and focused on the unreal. We have placed it upon ourselves to reach into the abyss without realizing the impending danger. Our illusion of happiness moved us to equate it to marriage or relationships. It seems that only with a partner can we be whole when a partner should multiply our sense of self and not just add. Moreover, we needed not only to define and calculate what is beautiful; we created other definitions of beauty. Created to serve as an alternative, but as Goths, EMOs and punk exists, it also assert the unreal. Moreover, these assertions not only bring into the spotlight the unreal but also have its own standard of what is real. These standards are to exclude the “posers” the very thing the Goths, EMOs and punk once were. We just created more spaces for exclusion.

In order to regain what we lost, we do not need to look at other people for what we lost or do not have, all we need is to look at ourselves. Look at what we are doing, the judgments we imposed on other people and project it towards ourselves. No more escaping the truth of our own existence. However, more than this, we should look at how everyone else’s around us suffers. Place judgment where it should be. Blame photoshoped pictures showing unreal definition of beauty or of women. Look at a photograph and see what is real. Moreover, to live outside the comfort of our home and experience, to let being be. As Heidegger said, be a poet. No longer bounded by the guise of life, but see what is concealed; the art of imperfection and the beauty of the ugly. As such, we should not let go of what people say is wrong, “… where the danger is… the saving power is also”.

For Heidegger, it is his own fear of death that made him look at what they have done and reminisce of a time where immortality is at his hands. It also just as important for us women, to dream and to fantasize for it is then do we challenge the reality we have created. It is then can we poets, grounding ourselves on what is and seeing more, of what it should be. As poets, we should create space for inclusion, fashioning ourselves to find what is real and including other people. We then, should will more than willing, letting Beings be.

table with the "A" boys

kamusta naman to!
Our department chair invited me and some other DS people to a dinner with the parent of an "A" boy who passed ateneo, will be taking Development Studies and is part of the top 2% who took the Ateneo College Entrance Test.

Kamusta tlga!

The amusing thing is, that's not the highlight of the night. The highlight of my night is when i realized, I'm eating dinner amongst people who actually achieve academically! Graduating from a small and relax school, getting into ateneo, graduating is the dream. to be more, is a luxury and not a must. It is never really planned. Moreover, not part of the culture.

However, there i was thrown amongst the many. I was eating dinner with someone who graduated with a QPI of 3.91, valedictorian, someone graduating cum laude, a theorist, another candidate for valedictorian and sanggu vice-president, an someone who graduated with a double degree and 2 other minor. So there was I, someone barely passing, is not sure if she is graduating on time. BUTI NA LANG, I WAS FEELING PRETTY THAT DAY.

I was happy that my self-esteem was pretty good today and yesterday... but i did get something out of it, i was actually inspired. I wanted to be more again. I can do it, i think... still, living in the world! its not going to happen because i said so...

Concerning Technology

for my Philo 102, we are currently discussing, concerns of mankind (or Heidegger) regarding technology. I am so glad that Heidegger worked in a time where computers, blogs and modern day printers does not exist. Then, he is not able to flood us with his heideggerisms. He has a serious writing problem with a weird sense of logic (or maybe its just the translation). anyway, he is a pain to read.

moving on...

Every single day (or just maybe during class time), i am bombarded how man as being challenge the standing reserve and wills to risk. Man as being risks even more than life itself. The reality of which is very apparent. we see, if only we take heed, the lengths man takes to make himself comfortable. we have take it upon itself to look at God's creation, admire it and strip it piece by piece in front of him. Worst, by taking the piece we not only destroy his work but also damage the very thing he loves the most, man.

The demand for technology did not only resulted to man's ego centric behavior in relation to nature, but it compelled us to look at each other and see the standing reserve. No longer the person, but a thing, a resource.

if only we take heed. Heidegger says.

I take heed every single time. in trying to be a development studies major, i take heed all the time for looking at persons as resource causes or caused underdevelopment. I learn about how we are exploited, to exploit in a "developing way" and to use all of this to our advantage. on the hind sight, i also learn to use all of my learning to MY advantage. Why? cause studying Development is painful. Not physically but emotionally. damn, my women hormones.

the funny things is, Philo being a required subject, we the students, are thrown into the abyss and into desolate time. a time where learning is secondary to earning grades and become "educated". how do teachers see us?

as statistics.

as letter grades.

as people who they fill with water, like a bucket in a finite well.

My teacher, though he is one of the best teachers i have ever had, unconsciously (or maybe consciously, i don't know) tell us how he looks at as and makes us feel like a standing reserve. He's "list" of class standing amuses him as students move up and down the ladder. So he says. How the middle ten is the "average an**n students" like we need to be reminded of how to perform and how many is in front of us in the "line". Line, that we don't even know if necessary or where it leads to. Crap.

He then insults the entirety of my Being, by stressing the importance of grades as not the measure of personhood. yes, sir, its not. But as of this moment, where we students will and try to risk, will always be reminded of how IMPORTANT it is to perform. for the world sees, at first hand, performance and not personhood.

Maybe it is my fault for focusing on academics and not stretching more. Maybe that is really the reason why I'm pissed. But anyway, what is important is how as Beings, man consciously and unconsciously sees each other as standing reserve, a resource. for laughter, comfort or like this blog, for rantings.

as for "why poets"...

"many times, man risks more than life itself"

This is regarding man, focusing on one side of life. Purifying life as they say. as if suffering does not exists. i am always reminded of capitalists/feudal lords/absolute monarchy. as such, i am growing up to be a Marxist. But my POSteacher said to me, everyone in college is "some kind of a Marxist" and depending on their affiliations with Marxist organizations, we grow out of it. anyway, back on the topic. think way back. the time where is you are not born with the right kind of stars, you are nothing. and if you have the stars you only thought of yourself and nothing else. you exploit people as if they are your animals and is domesticated.

just researched about heidegger, i am always reminded of how his analysis is similar to that of a Marxist. Well anyway, he was part of the Nazi movement (by choice or by force) which explains a lot why he can write about man destrorying man. But that also gives light, that SOME germans, where a bit consoling. :)

letter of a young writer

hi!

im fine, school is relatively easier, of maybe its just easier when you realize that getting an F is not the end of your world.

hehehe.

i failed theology. of all the subjects! ive grieved enough.

il be having my practicum this summer! im both excited and fearful. exited because, i love dressing up or at least have a legitimate reason to wear heels. hehe.. fearful, well, am i capable? im sure you still remember feeling this way.

i dont have prospects of where to work yet... i just know where/who/what i dont want to work for. spoken like a true teenager...

am i still one? well, im barely an adult.

i have a blog! read me rant! ungroundedconsciousness.blogspot.com

i created another one because im practicing my writing skills... and also, it just helps when i keep my brain working, helps with the grieving.. hahaha.

un lang naman. msya un party.

saw a japanese guy in the party... which name i keep on forgetting... anyway, being japanese, i never know how he truly feels. if he is bored, cant relate, or actually having fun.
shh... secret lang yan. but its true! japanese people, especially men are not expressive and worst they will do anything that is right despite their unwillingness to do so. in filipino, plastic. to some extent. BUT they are a better nation for it.

when will filipinos be so self-sacrificing?

i will end at that note...

attack of the 50 feet moral conscience!

ok, fine. fine! *bitter*

i started selling dvds. i needed the money. i was quite proud that im venturing into entrepreneurship and acutally thinking about my future. however, selling dvds is not the way to go because the dvds, well, are not accepted by some people. (i am not going into details, for my own protection. it is better for me for you to draw the wrong conclusion than actually know the truth. ahaha)

i hate this. *bitter*

it didnt start that way. i did start to recieve orders and promote. for some reason the attack of the 50 feet conscience did reveal itself until, i was actually getting more orders. well, let just say, i stopped. the "consequences" is to big to ignore.

money. *bitter*

does this mean that i will suck at entrepreneurship when i entertain thoughts regarding morals and ethics? i don't think so. i may not become rich as some people are, but i know i will be better for it.

damn. *bitter*

the bad effects will soon outweigh the good effects.

this happened when i was driving alone to pick up my sister from school. damn, introspection. anyway, i started to think about what I'm doing. well, i tried to fight for those of you who is mad at me. I'm sorry. i will make money. you'll see. but not that the way where i might possibly ruin my future. what for? couple of thousand?

I'm reading a book right now by David Loy for my Philosophy class. He stated that man's main problem is not the fear or the lack of death as psychoanalysts and existentialist suggest but rather, man's fear is the "annihilation of all possibilities" (which will be a topic of my next blog). the way i see it, what i was or want to be doing does not open up opportunities but rather creating conclusions. conclusions that i always fear.

to not become everything i want to be. *fear*

it is time for me to fear.

THE ATTACK OF THE 50 FEET MORAL CONSCIENCE.

i miss stuff that teachers dont teach

I was never an academically oriented person. I love to learn but i hate studying. The difference is that in learning i choose what i want to learn but in studying, i try to learn as much as i can about a topic that i may or may not like or may even be something i despise. All that work for to get good grades, to get in a good college, and for what to be eventually a clog in the machine (of course there is always an alternative). The alternative being, to get good grades, exert influence, get rich and live the way you always wanted to.

My point is, i have defined myself to being that person that excel despite her grades. The girl, that everybody thinks is well-rounded and is definetly not square. Well, these perceptions was derived from the fact that i am good in the arts (dance), i express myself well in class and i am part of the student council. I can do it all.

I used to say.

College came. Academics became my priority. It is the most important anyway. It is time to prove myself worthy of being accepted to a prestigious university. I also figured, ive done all the other things anyway, i want to achieve something i have never done before. "TO BE in the HONORs LisT". The irony is, im a year away from graduation, and i have the worst ahead of me and i am no way near my goal.

I think my mistake was not that i choose demanding teachers and that i focused on personhood than grades. But rather, i believe my mistake arise from me underestimating my younger self. Who can say that i didnt know myself? that i ran towards what easy and ran away from applying myself academically. My greatest mistake was when i chose to forget my younger, old self. To forcefully see myself as other than what i have been trying to do.

To this day, my greatest dream is still to become a hollywood actress. To be rich, influencial and most of all to be an artist. Now, im trying to become a politician, a manager and a financer. There is no other field farther than childhood dream.

connection to my title? i used to be happy asserting my reality in areas other than academics. to things i can do, to things i have created than things i have to learn.

why blog?

ungrounded consciousness?

(consciousness) First, this blog is part of my new year's resolution. I have been trying to release the artist in me through photography and sociological investigation. Multiply has given me the venue to upload my pictures, not that all of them merits recognition. Also, granted that sociological investigations are not actually artistic in nature, but i think it takes a lot of imagination to look at society differently than everyone else. Moreover, to look at society and see more than remnants of our past and hostages to a future set and designed for communities and not individuals. Thus, a lot get trapped in the cracks where two designated lines meet but no one takes responsibility for.

(ungrounded) This blog is also a product of depression, bitterness and fear. Thus, this blog is also a product of PASSION. I have no intention to be responsible for the things i may or may not say. As such should also not to be taken seriously. However, to those of you who knows me long enough, being politically incorrect, bias and anal is not my strongest suit.